WHAT A CUNT

I would like to direct your attention to figure A below.

Figure A

Figure A is Ted's profile pic on Facebook. It is difficult for human minds to comprehend the level of douchiness that inspires an individual to put up such a retarded profile pic. First of all, he is drinking out of a fucking coconut. That's retarded. Second of all, look at that facial expression. It's a tough look to decipher, but to these eyes it is clearly the expression of either a retarded person or a complete douchebag. From my personal experience with Ted, I can safely say that it is a combination of the two. Third of all, look at that posture. WHAT THE FUCK. He's sorta half leaning to the side for no reason. He looks like he's gonna fall over because he's too fucking stupid to stand up straight. HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ME THIS IS MY COCONUT DRINKING POSE.

What a fucking cunt.

Ted

Fuck that guy. If I could choose anyone that I definitely don't want to be, it would be Ted. A selection of reasons why it would suck to be Ted:

-He's a cunt. Seriously.
-He's gay as hell. One time I fell asleep in the lounge and he apparently sat next to me and played with my hair while I was out. What the fuck.
-General douchiness. Needs no further explaination.

For these reasons and many others, it is abundantly clear that Ted is someone I am most certainly glad not to be.